function products() { //13 var ranNum= Math.round(Math.random() * 13); if (ranNum == 0){document.write('

Hi,

How would YOU like to be the LIFE and SOUL of ANY social gathering?

Let\'s be honest. We all LOVE those individuals that make us LAUGH.

The funnier you are, the more people like you.

Well, how funny are YOU?

What if you could suddenly become EVEN FUNNIER, just by following a few simple rules?

Master wit Max Matterson has worked in the comedy world for the past 20 years. He\'s the co-author of "Comedy Writing Secrets" and trained many of the big late night show hosts.

He knows EXACTLY how to train ANYONE to become super-witty in just minutes. Matterson claims there are just a series of simple rules that ANYONE can follow to become hilariously funny!

Do YOU want to discover his COMEDY SECRETS?

Visit his website online and learn more: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/howtobefunny

Max shares EVERYTHING with you -- and GUARANTEES that your new-found funny skills will ROCKET your business and social life. In fact he\'ll buy back the course if you\'re not absolutely THRILLED!

When was the last time you invested even FIVE MINUTES in developing your social skills? Especially in something as important as your HUMOUR?

Do it now. Click HERE and get started: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/howtobefunny

Thanks for your time!

'); } // how2bfunny if (ranNum == 1){document.write('

Hi ,

Last week, Jenny was the sort of girl that men didn\'t want to date.

This week, they\'re literally DROOLING over her. And honestly? That probably includes me!

Why?

Because this time last week, my good friend Jenny was suffering from serious, long-term acne. Her confidence had fallen to an all-time low. She didn\'t feel like a true woman. She was being held back by dry, flaking, peeling skin.

This week, her acne has disappeared. She\'s enjoying a silky-smooth complexion with radiant, glowing skin. And her confidence has absolutely rocketed!

I mean - seriously - she\'s getting a LOT of very positive attention!

Why? Because, she told me, she\'d just bought a guide to curing acne - which included a special 72-hour process GUARANTEED to leave your skin feeling wonderful in JUST THREE DAYS.

She followed the simple instructions. And they WORKED.

I couldn\'t believe the difference. I was, and still am, absolutely amazed.

And that\'s why I had to write to you this week with this special website recommendation.

If YOU suffer from acne and are looking for a cure, then I urge you to discover this brand new guide. It\'s called "Acne Freedom in 72 Hours" and you can find it online at:

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/acnefree

It comes with a total money-back guarantee, so it\'s absolutely no-risk to try it out.

I\'ve personally seen it work wonders. Check the site - I think you\'ll be pretty impressed too!

'); } // acnefree if (ranNum == 2){document.write('

Hi There,

I must admit, one month ago, I had a naughty habit.

Its true.

I was a smoker.

Now, all smokers know that smoking is not a nice habit. Its ENJOYABLE and its ADDICTIVE. But if we could achieve that level of relaxation doing anything else, I am pretty sure we would.

Come on, who wants to smell like a chimney all day long?

This month, I feel exhilarated. After years of trying to stop, I finally managed to quit the habit in just over three short weeks.

I feel youthful and clean again, my mouth feels fresh, my sense of taste and smell are starting to come alive. And my wife is happier kissing me, and my children are happier that I will live another 10 or 20 years!

Yes. NOT smoking feels fantastic!

But I could only have done this with the help of one person. My good friend, Melvin Powers, who recently wrote: Stop Smoking in 28 Days... Or Less!

Melvin sent me a copy of his guide when I told him about my addiction.

He is not the sort of guy that will tell you how BAD you are for smoking. He is a methodical guy and explains it all in pure English. He agrees stopping smoking SUCKS. In fact, that is his Web address: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/smoking

Mevlin can teach you the EXACT methods you need to quit smoking without the pain, withdrawal symptoms and evil cravings usually associated with the process.

Plus he backs it all up with a 100% money-back guarantee too.

So, ever considered kicking the habit?

Do it in style, with Melvin Powers. Click on this link to download his new guide: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/smoking

To your good health,

'); } // stopsmoking if (ranNum == 3){document.write('

Hey

If you sleep like a baby all night, every night then I am sorry, but this message is NOT for you!

But if, like me you have ever suffered from insomnia or any other form of sleep deprivation, then I know what you would give for a good nights sleep

Just about anything, right?

The endless hours staring at your bedroom ceiling, the thoughts and worries that play full volume in your head and just will not leave you alone, shuffling aimlessly around the house waiting for sleep to come, trying to cope the next day when everyone else is wide awake and refreshed

Only to return to bed, exhausted, and STILL not get a good nights sleep.

Chronic insomnia or persistent sleep deprivation really is a waking nightmare. I would not wish it upon anyone.

I have spent fortunes trying various cures over the years.

Nothing ever worked.

Until I got chatting to self help author and guru Bradley Thompson and found out that he too used to suffer from insomnia.

What is more, he claimed to have found a cure and to be sleeping the sleep of the just ever since. And he found it by accident!

He told me about his remarkable discovery. This cure is based on a radical new use of a fairly old technology, discovered by a German research scientist way back in 1839. I must admit, if it had not been for his credentials, I would have thought the guy was NUTS for thinking that this could apply to insomnia.

Yeah, right! I thought.

Still, I agreed to try it. Like I said, I would have tried anything.

You know what? IT WORKED! And, much to my delight and surprise it has WORKED EVERY NIGHT EVER SINCE!

If you are a sufferer, you should be dancing on the table right now, because THIS IS THE REAL DEAL a permanent cure for your sleepless nights. .

It is 100% safe, 100% effective, does not involve taking drugs and this is the bit I like! it requires absolutely NO effort on your behalf at all.

I have got my life back! I would love to think I can help someone else get theirs back too.

Check out Bradleys site here:
http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/sleep

Sweet dreams!

'); } // sleepcd if (ranNum == 4){document.write('

Hello,

Every four seconds, somebody in the UK gets a parking ticket.

It is the latest STEALTH TAX to hit the country and generates a shocking 1.2 billion pounds in local council revenue EVERY SINGLE YEAR!

In fact, over the coming twelve months, a staggering 8 million of us will get a parking ticket slapped under our wiper by a smug traffic warden.

That is almost 14% of the population.

Does that make you feel ANGRY?

It should do. But here is the thing,

YOU do not have to be a VICTIM!

You see, an estimated 65% of ALL PARKING TICKETS are issued incorrectly. All you have to do is point out the error and the councils will immediately CANCEL your ticket.

And that is not the only loophole.

Did you know that in some circumstances, you can simply DRIVE AWAY from a parking ticket and there is nothing the attendant can do about it?

How about the ONE SMALL ITEM you should keep in your car which can get virtually ANY parking ticket overturned?

And how about the tiny mistake that MOST councils are making which can result in getting your ticket INVALIDATED, immediately?

There are ways to beat the system.

But you need to know the tricks, BEFORE you get a ticket.

Find out these tricks afterward, and you WILL NOT be able to overturn your parking ticket.

So, get in on the action. Find out how to BEAT the UK parking ticket system TODAY.

Click HERE to learn more: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/ParkingTicket

I guarantee you will be amazed!

'); } // ParkTicket if (ranNum == 5){document.write('

Have you ever been CLAMPED?

Trust me, I know JUST how frustrating it can be.

You park your car for just five minutes to pick up a prescription. You return and WHAM! A big dirty yellow wheel clamp fixed to your wheel with a DEMAND for a large sum on money before some muscle thug will remove it.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about it. You are ANOTHER HELPLESS VICTIM.

And guess what?

The average wheel clamping fine these days is a staggering 240 Pounds. However many cowboy wheel clampers are screwing drivers by up to 670 pound per offence and it is all completely legal.

The Government has lost control. The clampers are going wild. Even the RAC is currently campaigning for new legislation. Nobody knows what to do.

Well, for the FIRST TIME EVER, you can now BEAT the wheel clampers at their own game.

With the LATEST SYSTEM from Dan Strauss!

Dan Strauss is a good friend of mine, and spends his life figuring out how to beat the driving system. He is the editor of the UK Driving Secrets guide.

He has recently developed a NEW SYSTEM for getting absolutely ANY wheel clamp fine REFUNDED within just days, And it is PERFECTLY LEGAL, TOO.

You will not have to argue with the clamping thugs. And you will not have to fill out lots of complex paperwork.

Just pay the fine as normal, then send off a simple template letter. Your money will be refunded within a couple of weeks.

Can you IMAGINE how valuable this information could be to you?

But you MUST buy it BEFORE you get a wheel clamping fine. There is something critical you need to do for the system to work. Download it TODAY to learn more.

Oh, and the whole package comes with a 10 year guarantee too. Now that is something I have NEVER heard ANYONE offer before. It just shows how serious Dan is about all of this.

So check out the official site and get yourself protected from those wheel clamping cowboys.

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/WheelClampers

Enjoy! Best wishes,

'); } // WheelClamp if (ranNum == 6){document.write('

Check This OUT,

Would YOU like to make your number plate INVISIBLE to speed cameras?

A brand new spray from the US has just hit the streets of the UK. And the Government are already scrambling to ban it.

It will be made ILLEGAL by the end of the year.

But if you act QUICK, you can still legally grab your own can of the stuff at an amazing price.

PhotoBlocker reflects light to a camera lens. That means a number plate is perfectly visible to the human eye, but when you take a photo of the plate, it overexposes and disappears from the image!

That means NO points and NO fine!

You have got to learn more while you still can!

Check out this amazing website:

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/PhotoBlocker

Take advantage now. I\'ve tried this stuff before and you WILL NOT regret it.

That is my personal GUARANTEE.

Enjoy,

'); } // PhotoBlocker if (ranNum == 7){document.write('

Hi,

Have you ever been caught drink driving? My father in law was a couple of years back and it damned near cost him his job.

Now I do not condone drink driving, not at all. And neither did my father in law. He knows now that the safest approach to staying within the limit is not to touch a drop in the first place.

The trouble is that the law is not able to differentiate between people who make an honest mistake (like my father in law) and those who deliberately break the rules with no regard for anyone else.

Even the most minor drink driving offence results in a minimum 12 month ban and often a hefty fine. And that is exactly what he got.

He paid his debt to society and is now a little wiser. But it was a VERY difficult time for him and he is still extremely embarrassed and ashamed about the whole affair.

However he COULD have spared the ordeal.

You see, there IS a way to get around the so called mandatory ban. But you have to know how.

This site tells you everything. http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/DrivingFacts

Like I said, I do not condone drink driving. Who in their right mind would?

But if you find yourself facing prosecution you might find something very valuable at this site. Check it out, even if you are just preparing for the future.

'); } // DrinkDriveFacts if (ranNum == 8){document.write('

Hi There,

My friend Tim just called me and is a very happy man. Last week, he was anything but happy and worried sick about losing his job because of a speeding fine.

You see, Tim is a sales rep for a computer company in Birmingham. Every year he puts around 50,000 miles on the clock driving to various appointments. Like most of us, when he is late, he puts his foot down.

Unfortunately, Tim has already got 9 points on his license for speeding. Last week, he was all set to receive another 3 penalty points and it looked like he would lose his license and therefore his job.

Looking for information on the Internet to help him, Tim found http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/DrivingSecrets

There he discovered a loophole in the law that he knew nothing about. He copied the template letter provided and just this morning, found out that his conviction had been quashed! Like I said, he\'s a very happy man.

Intrigued, I looked at this site too and was amazed. It is a goldmine of information for any UK driver who has ever been stopped by the police, fined for speeding or been given a parking ticket. The fact is that, more often than not, you can challenge these and, like Tim, walk away scot free!

The guy who compiled this stuff should know, he is an ex traffic policeman incensed by the fact that the police are making millions every year out of unfair and often illegal fines, just to meet targets.

I have seen this sort of information in the US, but never in the UK. If you are a UK driver I urge that you check this out. It could save you a fortune and perhaps even your license.

Visit http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/DrivingSecrets

'); } // DrivingSecrets if (ranNum == 9){document.write('

You Have See This,

Would YOU like to tune in to OVER 2000 premium television channels Just by clicking your mouse?

Imagine being able to enjoy your favourite movies on demand. Imagine watching breaking news as it happens across the globe. Imagine viewing the latest sporting action, without paying a subscription fee.

Not only that, but imagine tuning in to your favourite TV shows when YOU want to watch them. No matter where you are in the world!

Desperate Housewives. Prison Break. Little Britain. The Office. Ugly Betty. 24. Dr Who.

All from the comfort of your home PC with a simple click.

That is the power of Watch TV on Your PC.

It streams thousands of channels from across the globe (even expensive premium channels!) direct to YOUR PC without the need for plug in computer cards or subscription payments.

Just download, install and click to begin enjoying the greatest video and radio content from across the globe.

Interested?

Then click down to this website to learn more:

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/PCTV

I highly recommend it!

'); } // PCTV if (ranNum == 10){document.write('

Hello,

I bet you have done it before. By accident, of course.

You are working away at your PC. Then suddenly after a quick key shuffle all of your documents vanish. They are nowhere to be seen. You have accidentally deleted your files.

Or perhaps you emptied the Recycle Bin a little prematurely. Or maybe you have had a nasty virus on your system erasing important files. Or perhaps you mistakenly formatted your camera memory card.

Whatever happened your files, documents and images have GONE.

What do you do?

Well, sit back and relax.

Undelete File Recovery is the worlds most powerful undelete tool. It will automatically piece together long lost files and restore your deleted documents in no time!

All it takes is a couple of clicks and you are done. It literally CANNOT get any easier than this.

And best of all, the whole package is currently being offered online for less than 25 Dollars with a copy of Magic Backup thrown in to boot. This little gem recently rescued me from a nasty situation. Now it is my turn to pass on this recommendation to YOU.

So, prepare yourself for the worst. Grab your copy of Undelete File Recovery before it\'s too late and while it is on special offer!

Visit the site online at http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/Undelete

'); } // Undelete if (ranNum == 11){document.write('

Hi

Imagine if your PC recorded everything you did on it. Every site you visited, every file you created, every audio track you downloaded, every IM conversation you had And then, imagine that information falling into the wrong hands. Your partner maybe, or even your boss. Yikes!!!

Well, WAKE UP!

Because that’s PRECISELY what your computer DOES DO. It remembers everything and I mean EVERYTHING even files you have deleted!

And with a simple bit of freely available software costing around 15 Dollars, your boss, partner or even the police can see EXACTLY what you’ve been up to.

Scary thought, huh?

Thankfully there is a utility called Evidence Blaster which ZAPS everything.

And once it has been ZAPPED by Evidence Blaster, there’s not a tool in the world that will get it back.

It’s cheap, simple to use and you can download YOUR copy right now.

Learn what I’m talking about at: http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/evidenceblaster

'); } // EvidenceBlaster if (ranNum == 12){document.write('

Hi,

You may have already heard of my friend, Nick Daws.

He is a best-selling British author. He has written over 30 fantastic books, and he is the man behind the classic How to Write Any Book in 28 Days Or Less!

Well, last week, Nick unveiled a brand new course

In it, he talks about a virtually untapped Cave of Treasure

He uncovers the secret market that has earned him more word for word than ANY OTHER FORM OF WRITING

It has brought him CARS, CRUISES and CASH!

What is this secret?

It is the world of COMPETITIONS and CONTESTS!

You see Nick Daws has uncovered a method of winning virtually ANYTHING he enters.

He has developed a very PRACTICAL SYSTEM that ANYONE can use. It works best in the UK, but can be used in the USA and throughout Europe too. Just follow his advice, write out your entry, and get ready to WIN.

Interested? Visit his site online at http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/Contests

Oh, and all of Nick\'s methods are backed by a 100% GUARANTEE too. If you are not impressed, he will buy your course right back off you No questions asked!

Give Nick five minutes of your time. He will surprise you.

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/Contests

'); } // contests if (ranNum == 13){document.write('

Can you imagine a job that allows you to enjoy.

Free first class travel. Free five star hotel accommodation. Free meals. Free tickets to the best shows. Free limousines, And more?

And, best of all, a job that pays you HANDSOMELY just for enjoying all of this?

If so, then you just might be interested in the world of a Travel Writer.

Can YOU imagine visiting some of the worlds most exotic locations from the northern lights of Lapland to staring into the eyes of the Tutankhamun in Cairo museum.

And getting paid simply to write about your experience?

It is easy and it can happen to YOU, if only you follow the best information from the insiders that really KNOW.

Mel McIntyre is one of those insiders.

And he has just launched a course unveiling ALL of the greatest travel writing secrets ONLINE at:

http://www.miscellaneousproducts.info/TravelWriter

Check it out NOW. I highly recommend it.

'); } // TravelWriter }